anticipation likes to hang out with its cousin, expectation. You just can’t wait for that big day, that big moment. But what if you have dreamt too much. You’ve waited so long, dreaming for it, reveling in the happiness that you are sure will come your way. Thankfully, anticipation brings hope. If the intended event doesn’t live up to your expectations, at least the moments spent waiting for it were an absolute thrill.
One Hit Wonder
The story of a long-awaited kiss….
“Eeeeew!” Jessie scrunched up her nose and flinched at her friend’s words. “How could you go through with it?”
Abby was also flinching away from thought of it. It had happened ten years ago. Ten years! They were now old enough to count in decades, and still the time hadn’t faded the memory.
“I didn’t go through with it! I was forced, and it was all an unfortunate accident.” Abby tried to explain herself. “I had been crushing on him all throughout high school. That was four years of anticipation. The build-up was intense.”
Laser sharp focus and concentration were the tools that had crowned Abby valedictorian in high school, and that attitude had carried over into her love life. Back then, Doc Jolly had been her one and only target. She was the nerd. He was the dumb jock. That only registered as a minor difference, because Abby knew with determination and hard work, she could get what she wanted.
After three years of gazing at the back of his head, inhaling his curious scent of honey and firewood, their first interaction finally came during senior year, when they had been paired up in Chemistry to identify an unknown substance. Doc had spent the hour using rubber bands to shoot pens and pencils up into the ceiling tiles. Only the light, ball point pens were sticking. The heavier longer pencils never gained enough velocity off of the skinny rubber band to poke through the tiles. She explained to him that even though a fatter rubber band would have more inertia and friction, it would still contract at the same rate and wouldn’t be impacted by the heavier weight of the wooden pencil. Thus, if he wanted the pencils to stick up there, he had better use the fat rubber bands.
Doc had looked at her like she had been speaking in tongues. That didn’t matter though, because he had LOOKED at her! And she was definitely looking at his tanned muscular arms, his broad shoulders, imagining what it would feel like to be wrapped up in him.
“You’re so random,” he said. She was very calculating, not random, but there was the chance that Doc had misused the word and meant that she was ‘quirky.’ She gave his poor command of the English language the benefit of the doubt, and accepted his words as a compliment. It fueled her as she spent the next year transforming herself to get him to look at her again.
She studied and practiced her eyeliner technique, and by the end of the month she had perfect cat eyes. By homecoming, she knew everything about protein and the cuticles that made up the structure of her hair. She became an expert in the effect of heat and conditioners on the hair shaft. By Thanksgiving, she was sporting a shiny waterfall of a mane, that swished over her cat eyes in an alluring way as she bent over the fundraising table to serve pumpkin pie. She spent the winter holidays shopping the after-Christmas sales to build a brand new wardrobe. Quirky things. Not too sexy. Not too preppy. She discovered that she loved kitten heels. Almost as comfy as sneakers, but more polished. A dash of classic ‘50s sweet, with a little rockabilly and lots of femininity. By Valentine’s Day, her arms were full of bouquets and cards from secret admirers. They weren’t that secret though, as the ‘equations of love’ revealed they were from her buddies in Math Club.
“So why did you think him drunk-calling you to pick him up at a bar was a date?” Jessie asked.
“Teenage hormones? Not my finest judgement call. I was just so happy that out of all the girls, he had called me. I raced over, but I couldn’t get in because I didn’t have a fake ID. I ended up waiting for over an hour outside, like an abandoned puppy dog.”
That night, Doc had stumbled out of the bar, reeking of beer and cigarettes. He could barely stand and had flopped his arm over her shoulder. She had been about to shove him into her backseat to drive him home when he pressed her against her car. The smell of boy, booze, and smoke made her gag, but he was slurring out the words: are you as brilliant in bed as you are with the books? Not the worst line, and she was finally in his arms, so she tilted her lips up towards his.
This was the moment. The reward after four years of crushing, and dreaming, and preparing.
Then he vomited.
All down the side of her face and shoulder. The worst part was that he was so drunk he didn’t even know he vomited, and he proceeded to continue leaning in for the kiss. Pinned between the car and the bulk of his shoulders, she couldn’t move. She turned her head, but his barf breath made her gasp. That was when his tongue darted into her mouth. No amount of mouthwash could delete the taste of Doc Jolly. The worst souvenir she had ever been gifted.
Jessie shuddered again. “Yuck. That is the most disgusting story I’ve ever heard. You’re traumatizing me!” She took one last look in the mirror and flipped her hair. “Ready to have a Jolly good time, tonight?”
“Oh, shut up.” Abby rolled her eyes and grabbed her thin cardigan, the one with the subtle imprint of cherries woven into the fabric. She still carried parts of her nerd-chic look with her today, because classy and fun were smart together. At least all that pining over Doc had pushed her to find her own style. The efforts hadn’t been completely wasted.
The two women walked out into the city, laughing and teasing each other – excited to see where the night would take them.
Eat Your Emotions: Anticipation - CheesecakePrint This
- 1.25 cups cookie crumbs
- 6 tbsp butter, melted
- 6 egg whites
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 24 oz cream cheese (room temp)
- 6 egg yolks
- 1 /2 cup sugar
- seeds from one vanilla bean
- 1 cup sour cream
- 2 tsp flour
tip for succes:
- Use a 9” springform pan
- Use two sheet pans below your cake pan, to insulate the bottom against the heat.
- A stand mixer or electric beater is necessary.
- Lining the bottom of the pan with a round of parchment paper will help you remove the cake when it is finished.
- Rub vanilla bean seeds into the sugar to break them up.
- No need to worry about a water bath with this cake!
- This cake freezes well and can be made in advance.
- Preheat oven to 325 F.
- Prepare crust by mixing the cookie crumbs with the melted butter. Press into bottom of pan evenly.
- Bake the crust for 12 minutes. Remove from oven and let it cool completely.
- Beat or Paddle the cream cheese with 1/2 cup sugar, sour cream, vanilla bean seeds, and yolks until smooth.
- Add the flour.
- Whip egg whites until foamy. Add the 1/2 cup of sugar slowly as you whip. Continue whipping until egg whites are thick, but not stiff. It should be soft, like loose whipped cream.
- Fold egg whites into cream cheese mix.
- Pour over cooled crust. Even out the top.
- Bake for 1 hour, until lightly brown on top.
- Turn the oven off and prop the door open half-way. Let the cake stay in the oven and cool with it. When cooled to room temperature, chill in fridge or freeze.